O.c.C.u.P.i.E.d…

They said that in the beginning you need to have thoughts formed in your head. Then you may arrange these over thinking thoughts of yours neatly into words, yes you write them down. Lately, I had far far too many thoughts in my head but I think I just didn’t have the time to blog them out here, or wait…perhaps I was just plain ass lazy, I don’t really know!

What else have I  got? A short attention span. It doesn’t really bother me , I mean my attention span but it is suprising to see that it actually bothers some around me. Yeah, yeah, it’s their shot to mock me so they mock me as a, “pengelamun”. Often, my manners are misinterpreted words but I am only human therefore I can’t help it can I? I ain’t a riddle to solve all along, so don’t even bother trying!

Anyway, back to the thoughts. You see… I am all about them…words! Over numbers of words and hundreds of pages of words. Too often I had interesting thoughts that formed these words but its a shame to let them slip away and I let them slip away all the time. This is what happens when you let them slip away. You are left nothing to write about. Can you imagine, no words? Yes, my brain has deleted all the interesting thoughts and now the thoughts section is empty.

I am finally doing my clinical rotations. It all started roughly about two months ago. Currently, I am in the Obstetrician and Gynecology department. You see, I rotate here, in this department for two months. Two months being a “koas” made me realize many crucial thingies.

1) I am currently at the bottom of the food chain again! Okay, we start from level zero.

2) I ain’t a superwoman. Only human made of flesh and sand. I can’t do everything that some other people or you people out there can, I gotta move at my very own phase. So, stop pushing me to hard will ya? You’re putting me in a real tight spot, I am never liking it.

3) That fortune favors the brave. You ain’t brave, you’re never gonna get anywhere else further.

4) I cannot bring my imported books , by all means my medical books to the hospital simply because “they” will take it anyway and make treasure out of it. It happened just yesterday, “they” took my obsgyn book away and I don’t even know who is “they“! Watch out for “they”.

5) From these days onwards, I wonder if I will see better days without the burden?

6) I must try to let my mood light to make it right. I cannot let my emotions cloud my mind.

7) I am officially a member of “I don’t give a fuck about what you say” club. Yes, I am.

Enough of thoughts talk already!

Tomorrow, I am leaving …Yogyakarta to Pati, in east java. I seriously hope that two weeks and Pati will not render me depressed. Hoping all’s well end’s well.

P.s : Nope, I am still alive. I’ve been busy. But I still live.